Saturday, August 30, 2008
Resolving Interpersonal Conflict
I have two close secondary school friends, Peggy and Clara.
Since secondary school days, Peggy has this habit of calling me at night to complain about how stressed she was especially when we were preparing for our Ordinary Level Examinations, even when we see each other at school everyday. Till now, she still call me often to complain about how bad her studies are (even though her CAP is 4.1) and how her crush is not interested in her.
So when I encounter some problems, I expected her to lend a listening ear like I always do to her. But when I shared my problems with her, she just laughed them off or replied simply with a nonchalant ‘okay’ or ‘I see’ and continued complaining about her own problems. Her replies really frustrated me because I felt that the only thing she was concerned about was her own issues.
The matter got worse when Clara’s birthday so happened to fall within her exam period. Without feeling apologetic, she made us cancelled the celebration, which she had agreed to turn up, to concentrate on her papers. We felt really disappointed by her self-centred actions so Clara and I decided to confront her. However, Peggy did not seem to realise that she was in the wrong.
Different people revolve around different things in life thus we prioritize differently. But it is really hard to get along if our perceptions are so different. We have been friends for six years; I really hope that this disagreement will not affect our friendship. How can I make Peggy understand our feelings and be more sensitive in the future?
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Why developing effective communication skills is important for you.
I used to think that words are not important. I believe that if someone truly understands you or wants to understand you, a tiny gesture says a thousand words. To me, actions are more important than words. But not long ago, I learnt that not all people we encountered are interested to know you inside out but they do step onto the path of your life. This is especially true in formal settings such as bosses and colleagues from working places and project mates from school. Developing effective communication skills is vital in these cases to have pleasant working experience and establishing a good social network is inevitably useful in the future development of our life.
Also, even with closest friends and family members, nonverbal cues can lead to misunderstandings. No matter how close we are, we are still different beings thus we interpret things differently. There were times when my friends told me that they did not dare to approach me because I seemed to be in a foul mood. But in fact I am just trying hard to recall some of the interesting shows I watched on television so as to share with them later. With effective communication, these misunderstandings can be prevented. Furthermore, occasional expression of feelings such as; telling your friends how much you treasure them and telling your parents you love them not only bring smiles on their faces but also strengthen bonds.
On top of the above, being able to express yourself clearly gives you confidence to join actively into conversations. This will prevent you from being tagged as unapproachable and people will automatically ask for your point of views. In all, effective communication is extremely important to thrive and survive.
