Saturday, August 30, 2008
Resolving Interpersonal Conflict
I have two close secondary school friends, Peggy and Clara.
Since secondary school days, Peggy has this habit of calling me at night to complain about how stressed she was especially when we were preparing for our Ordinary Level Examinations, even when we see each other at school everyday. Till now, she still call me often to complain about how bad her studies are (even though her CAP is 4.1) and how her crush is not interested in her.
So when I encounter some problems, I expected her to lend a listening ear like I always do to her. But when I shared my problems with her, she just laughed them off or replied simply with a nonchalant ‘okay’ or ‘I see’ and continued complaining about her own problems. Her replies really frustrated me because I felt that the only thing she was concerned about was her own issues.
The matter got worse when Clara’s birthday so happened to fall within her exam period. Without feeling apologetic, she made us cancelled the celebration, which she had agreed to turn up, to concentrate on her papers. We felt really disappointed by her self-centred actions so Clara and I decided to confront her. However, Peggy did not seem to realise that she was in the wrong.
Different people revolve around different things in life thus we prioritize differently. But it is really hard to get along if our perceptions are so different. We have been friends for six years; I really hope that this disagreement will not affect our friendship. How can I make Peggy understand our feelings and be more sensitive in the future?
